Electric Blue
by regie27
Summary: Kuvira receives a visit from Korra in prison and reminisces on their shared memories. Companion piece to Succor.


_Electric blue eyes, where did you come from_

_Electric blue eyes, who sent you_

_Electric blue eyes, always be near me_

_Electric blue eyes, I need you_

Electric Blue, The Cranberries

We are sitting side by side in peaceful silence with the faint afternoon glow seeping through the narrow barred window. I feel the strong arms that protected a whole city from my malice embracing me, keeping me close. Surrounding me with soothing warmth. Shielding me from the nightmares that have become my evenings' faithful companions. I know I do not deserve this relief yet I don't have the strength nor the will to refuse it. How could I refuse when it is the only thing that allows me to hold on to my sanity? The only thing that makes life inside this cell bearable?

I don't know from where I gathered the courage to seek for Korra and I wasn't sure she would respond, much less accept my request. After all that that's happened, I should be grateful and content with just being alive after the terrible mess I made. Atonement and reflection are my life's purposes now as I spend my days locked away from the world with only solitude and the ghosts of my deeds keeping me company. And yet here she is, visiting me and from the moment she steps inside my cell I feel like a human being again and not an empty husk. The monochrome of my present existence is suddenly filled with bright colors and the oppressive sorrow is momentarily exiled by the reassuring energy her mere presence exudes.

We have an unusual story, Korra and me. Three years ago I was captain to the Zaofu guards. I was a gifted metalbender with a promising career on the rise. As a child, I was taken under the wing of Suyin Beifong, the city's founder when she realized the potential within the eight year old me. I had everything going on for me or so it seemed, but it was only skin deep. Resentment and dissatisfaction brewed inside me. Beneath my aloof and professional countenance, anger and frustration laid in wait for the opportunity to boil over. With the benefit of hindsight and with all the time in the world for self-reflection available by this imprisonment, I've come to understand just how large the shadow of my parent's abandonment loomed over me. It triggered a deep, irrational fear that propelled me to seek stability and security above all. When my new motherly figure chose to abandon our country in its moment of need, I felt personally wounded, betrayed. Righteous indignation stirred from the depths of my lacerated soul ready to pounce.

She was the latest reincarnation of the Avatar, a self-assured, energetic and personable girl from the Southern Water Tribe. Her confident disposition and smile dazzled me from the instant I saw her. I was familiarized with fearlessness because I was brimming with it myself with the cockiness of youth and strength. My position of captain of the guard allowed me to observe her from a discreet distance. I remember telling myself that I was only fulfilling my duty because the visitor's VIP status required each and every one of us to stand guard. But the truth is that I sought the opportunities to do so. I took every chance to be close even though my duties prevented actual interaction beyond the common courtesies. Sometimes I thought her eyes would linger over me just a few seconds longer than the usual. I remember the first time it happened; I grinned like an idiot for a moment before I kicked myself mentally. It felt really good to be noticed by her.

Then the Red Lotus happened and I witnessed firsthand how her confidence crumbled. That's when I was given the opportunity to be closer to her. That's when we forged the memories that have brought her back to me.

"You're awfully silent today, even more than usual. Are you okay?" Her gentle voice calls my attention.

"Yeah" I mutter. I squeeze her hand and the arm that circles my waist brings me closer. I close my eyes and I'm taken back to Zaofu and to the moment that it had been her the one struggling with her emotions.

It was a rough night for all of us but especially for her. We fiercely fought off Zaheer and his cronies, barely avoiding having Korra taken away by the skin of our teeth. Our iron clad security, our impenetrable domes, it meant nothing as they slipped away in the darkness and left us behind an unconscious Avatar. After returning from the search for the Red Lotus emptyhanded, I decided to distract myself from the oppressive frustration clinging over me by making the rounds even though my shift had already ended. That's when I saw her slip from her room and towards the roof. Something compelled me to follow her and before I realized it, we were sitting side by side taking in the sights of the domes over the Metal City. It was then when I saw it, the naked fear and the pain in her eyes and suddenly, all I wanted to do was to take her pain away. I offered to stand guard and keep her protected. Instead, she sought my company and kissed me. I understood then that I could be able to do more than stand guard, that I could get my wish after all.

"Hey" she whispers as she turns me around. I meet her blue gaze. I can see concern in its depths. "Talk to me."

I offer her a small smile. "I'm here…just got caught up in a memory. I'm sorry if I worried you."

"Care to share?" The concern morphs into curiosity.

My eyes shift to avoid her glance. I sense warmth rising towards my face.

"I…I was remembering the first time…the first time you kissed me" I stammer. Tenderly, she cups my chin so we're locking glances again.

"I was in pretty bad shape that night" she replies, the lilt in her voice more subdued now, faint traces of discomfort seeping in. "It really shook me. I felt so helpless all over again."

That night I came to know the meaning of those words when she opened up about her experiences with Amon and Unalaq. She had believed that being the Avatar would have made her impervious to fear but those experiences showed her the grim reality. Not even the Avatar was immune to fear. I feel a pang of remorse hit me. My actions as The Great Uniter drove her to feel helpless again. It is still so surreal that I was both source of solace and of despair. I burrow my face over her shoulder trying to hide the tears that begin to sting my eyes. She allows me to sob quietly as her fingers trace soothing patterns over my back. We've become used to this routine. My guilt eventually manifests itself and I when I break down, she lends me her shoulder to cry my pain away. That's my consolation. During these brief moments I don't suffer alone.

"I keep ruining your vests. Next time you visit you should bring waterproof clothes" I comment between hiccups trying to bring some levity to our conversation.

"Next time I'll bring a raincoat" she replies with an amused grin. For some reason the thought makes me giggle.

"Is that a smile what I see?"

I nod feeling contented. As contented as the morning after when Korra woke up beside me three years ago. I think my eyes have betrayed my thoughts because her face closes in on mine. I inhale deeply, the thrumming of my heartbeat loud in my ears.

"You always had a cute smile when you weren't being so serious. It's good to see it again."

"Thanks…I'm glad I still have a couple of smiles left in me."

Her eyes look wistful. She is the one who seems lost in deep thought now.

"A yuan for your thoughts" I jest. I'm usually the less talkative of the two.

"I remembered the last time I saw you before…before we faced each other in Zaofu when I returned. I was leaving to search for Aiwei and you were with a group of guards and we stared at each other. You nodded and I grinned. I don't think I was very subtle."

It was indeed the last time we met before I did my best to beat and humiliate her in front of everyone three years later.

"I remember too. What about it?" I say as I push to the back of my mind the memory because I was utterly ruthless. Sometimes when I look back it feels as if my body and mind were inhabited by another me. A colder, unfeeling, angrier me.

"I caught a glimpse of that you when you smiled now."

I remain paralyzed for a few seconds. Countless hours I've searched for traces of that me that could still laugh and dance and hope but the mirror only showed me a despaired, broken woman. But Korra can still see her.

"This is the best thing I've heard in months" I whisper, pushing down a lump caught up in my throat. With her is it always the small things that make such a big difference.

"That's what I'm here for, right? To make sure you don't give up on yourself" she replies cheerily.

I nod in affirmative unable to conjure words. She's so close to me that our foreheads touch and I feel her exhale against my face.

"It's getting late. I have to go now" I hear her say but her hands cling firmly to my waist. A faint smile curves on her lips.

"I know…thank you for visiting and for lending me your shoulder again" I reply as the backs of my fingers slowly graze the hair over her ear. She captures my hand and our fingers interlace. I hum contented. These small gestures anchor me to a better reality, one that is not isolated from human touch. A single tear escapes my right eye and she captures it with her lips over my beauty mark eliciting goosebumps over my skin. Her blue eyes are shimmering, electric. They pierce mine still searching for what was lost and torn on my downwards spiral towards madness. I smile as I frame her face with my free hand, capturing this moment in my mind.

"I'll be seeing you soon Kuvira" she murmurs against my lips. I lean away but she pulls me back by our joined hands and soon her lips touch mine. I'm unable to move, afraid that if I do she will vanish like a dream, but I sense the tip of her tongue probing against my mouth, seeking acceptance. I sigh as I welcome the momentary respite, relishing every second of our contact. I know this is not meant to be but I understand her intentions. She is rekindling our memories because they're all I have left.

Hours later, I find myself inside my cell alone concealed under the shadows of a moonless sky. I can hear the distant howling of the wind. I wrap myself tightly in my coarse blanket as I ready myself to face a cold, stormy night. As I listen to the rain pattering against the thick, solid surface of the wall, I imagine I'm outside letting the raindrops soak my hair, caress my skin and seep into my soul until is purified. The crack of thunder echoes inside my cell. The flash of lightning pierces the darkness. The storm rages over the city but inside my cell my heart feels at peace and my mind is serene. The inner voices that stalk me, whispering hatred and self-doubt are quieted tonight by the lingering presence of the woman who refuses to give up on me. And as my lids close heavy with sleep, I see myself beside Korra as we behold a metal sky. And I smile under the gaze of shimmering blue eyes.

The End


End file.
